22 February, 2007

Evil Bible?

Now here’s a website that deserves a little more publicity. It’s extreme, it’s pugnacious, and it is very confrontational but mostly all it is doing is quoting the Bible.

The author makes the point that most 'Christians' haven’t read much of the Bible and don’t really know what it says. They also say that most ‘Christians’ selectively ignore the great bulk of ‘the Good Book’ – particularly the Old Testament – much of which is violent, racist, and what we would these days call immoral: condoning slavery, infidelity, child sex, rape and genocide.

As someone who once took the trouble to read this turgid nonsense from cover to cover, I sympathise with this website a lot. I found the Bible a real eye-opener and very, very disturbing. In fact, most of it was nothing like the happy-clappy message of love and tolerance that ‘Christians’ like to think the Bible is about. Most of it was about punishment, vengeance, mass-murder and physical and sexual abuse. Thank human rationality we don’t live in times like that anymore!

There’s plenty of fun stuff in Evil Bible.com, though (I quite like the ‘Top Ten Signs You're a Fundamentalist Christian ' ) and some great quotes, like:

"When a man strikes his male or female slave with a rod so hard that the slave dies under his hand, he shall be punished. If, however, the slave survives for a day or two, he is not to be punished, since the slave is his own property." (Exodus 21:20-21 NAB)


"Happy those who seize your children and smash them against a rock." (Psalms 137:9 NAB)

or how about;

“But any prophet who claims to give a message from another god or who falsely claims to speak for me must die.” (Deuteronomy 18:20-22 NLT - So let's get on with it guys. You heard the man! Kill. kill kill!)

If you can’t stand hypocrisy (like that of some ‘Christians’ overheard the other day damning homosexuals because ‘it’s forbidden in the Bible’ – “Judge not lest ye be judged” guys!) or if you just get annoyed by pious idiots who don’t even know the tenets of their own mumbo jumbo, this site is definitely the one for you. In fact there’s a Biblical quotation in there for everyone. Here’s one for the politicians:

“Slaves, obey your earthly masters with deep respect and fear. Serve them sincerely as you would serve Christ.” (Ephesians 6:5 NLT – see, it’s not just the Old Testament that has this kind of stuff in it.)

And one for Wifie: “You wives will submit to your husbands as you do to the Lord. For a husband is the head of his wife as Christ is the head of his body, the church; he gave his life to be her Saviour. As the church submits to Christ, so you wives must submit to your husbands in everything.” (Ephesians 5:22-24 NLT)

For the Bush war machine (and John Howard’s little cog in it): “Cursed be he who does the Lord’s work remissly, cursed he who holds back his sword from blood.” (Jeremiah 48:10 NAB)

And, my favourite, one for bald people who find small boys annoying: "From there Elisha went up to Bethel. While he was on his way, some small boys came out of the city and jeered at him. "Go up baldhead," they shouted, "go up baldhead!" The prophet turned and saw them, and he cursed them in the name of the Lord. Then two she-bears came out of the woods and tore forty two of the children to pieces." (2 Kings 2:23-24 NAB)

Hey, don’t look at me. I didn’t write this stuff!

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